What do you Expect?

EXPECT = to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence of; to consider probable or certain; to consider reasonable, due, or necessary; to consider bound in duty or obligated (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expecting)

Expectations are something that we all have of ourselves and of others, and somehow it has almost become a dirty word – especially in relationships.  There are expectations in almost every relationship – even the relationship we have with ourselves.  Friends and family have expectations as well as marriage partners and other romantic relationships.  It is not a bad thing!

When there are expectations, there is the hope or desire that certain behaviors or other things will occur within the relationship.  Having expectations is not a bad thing if they are reasonable, clearly communicated, understood and agreed upon everyone.  The key is to not expect too much from any one person.  No one can be everything to everyone all the time.  We are human, fallible and limited.

When we are hopeful, we are waiting and looking forward to an occurrence.  We are expecting something to happen.  We must be aware of when our expectations are an expression of being hopeful or when they are an expression of an obligation by someone.  When there are mutual expectations, both parties have agreed to certain behaviors that are pleasing to everyone involved in the relationship.  When expectations are not met, disappointment can be the result, which can lead to hurt feelings and even rejection.

We are human, fallible and limited.  We will not meet everyone’s expectations all the time, nor should we expect everyone to meet ours.  We will even fall short of our own expectations of ourselves, and its okay!  We will not meet every mark all the time.  When we try to do better the next time, we are growing.  “Expectations” is not a dirty word – it is a misunderstood word.  Give yourself, and your loved ones some room to fall short, forgive and expect better the next time!

Friends?

“I wish I was you so I could be friends with me” – Rugrat quote from a napkin

What kind of friend are you?  Are you the kind of friend who checks in on your amigos just because you think about them? Are you the friend who thinks about your amigos?  Do you friends frequently tell you “long time no hear/see”?  Are you the friend whose house is always the “spot” where everyone gathers?  Are you the connecting friend who brings people together?  Are you the friend that plans the functions to connect people?  Are you the friend that is part of the family who knows the parents of your friends?  Are you a fair-weather friend?

Are you a friend who loves at all times (Prov. 17:17) even when it is difficult to love?  Are you the friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24)?  Are you the friend who is there for your amigos in times of need?  Are you the person whose friend everyone wants to be?  Are you a friend to yourself? Do you want to be friends with yourself?

At some point we learn what it means to be a friend and what type of friend our friends need or expect us to be.  If we can’t be that kind of friend, then we should reconsider the company we are keeping and the level of friendship that we can provide in the relationship.  At various time in our life, we should take inventory of the relationships in our lives and prune if necessary.  At all times, we should be the kind of friend to others that we would want to have in our lives.  What kind of friend are you?

Selah!

Have you ever had a conversation or exchange and you weren’t really expecting what you heard?  It is one of those moments when your mouth may start to open and inside of your head (or you may even verbalize) something like “okay, wow, hmm, whoa, interesting, etc…”  Or you may even have what some call an “aha moment”, a “that’s deep” or a “put that in your pipe and smoke it” piece of news or exchange. .

We should be connecting with people regularly.  In the midst of those exchanges, we may have to manage some positive or negative things going on in our lives, and in the lives of those around us.  This may give us an opportunity to help someone.  Also in those exchanges, we should be growing.  Our interactions with others should be helping to push us to new levels of breadth, depth and understanding of who we are and where we are going in our lives.

While life happens, the SELAH moments are the jewels that we receive from the divine appointments God orchestrates for us. Tune in to the station of God’s spirit.  Have a conversation and allow God to speak to you.  You never know what you may hear!  SELAH!

It

Have you ever had a string of events going “for” you or “against” you?  Do you call it good/bad luck? blessings? curses? favor?  Whatever you call it, it feels like the God of the universe is either working with you or against you, and it can make you feel high with happiness or low with depression.  What is it?

The high is getting an A on your paper, getting a raise at work, lifting more weights than you ever had, meeting an awesome person and having a mind-blowing conversation, hug or kiss, receiving a gift that you wanted or just a kind word from a loved one or a stranger.

The low is getting a flat tire, realizing that your bank account has a lot less money in it than you think because you had to buy a new tire, having a great friend move a long way away, having an “everything that could go wrong does go wrong” workday, getting a grave doctor’s report or even losing a loved one.

It is actually life, and it happens – whether you want it to or not, and whether you are ready for it or not.  If it doesn’t happen today, it will happen tomorrow.  If you feel as if it is a blessing or a curse, your response to it determines if it will control you or if you will control it.  Every situation will not be pleasant, but you must still live.  Choose to live in peace and to not let it take you out of the joy God created you to have.  You only have this one (1) life He gave you – LIVE IT!

Perseverance Paradox

…Keep…Pushing…You’re almost….there!  Have you ever had a perseverance paradox?  If you keep going, you will be gratified by completing the task.  If you stop now, you’ll be gratified by satisfying your immediate need (whatever that may be). 

If you quit the lie that hides itself from you is knowing that you’ll forever be haunted by the “chaser” of regret for not finishing what you set out to complete.  You must always choose to FINISH unless there exists a reason that trumps everything to stop you.

There really isn’t a paradox at all when it comes to perseverance.  Choosing to persevere results in a goal fulfilled, and quitting results in and unfinished task and sometimes a lowered self-esteem and confidence because you didn’t do what you set out to do.  It is easy to walk away and give an excuse for not finishing.  It is harder to press through the difficulty and the challenges that arise in your journey.  

I remember running a race in which I came in last.  I was the last person on the track, and the coaches and supporters kept yelling “FINISH!”  I didn’t understand it at the time, but that goal of FINISHING was far greater than winning the race.  I learned to continue through the physical pain, humiliation (of being last) and to suck up any pride and finish the race.  Whenever I find myself ready to quit, I keep yelling “FINISH!” to myself.  I remember that the reward that awaits me is much greater than any short-lived gratification.  There is no paradox…I will push… I am almost… there!

After Glow

Sometimes we complete a task or accomplish a goal and rush right into the next thing on our “to do” list.  We don’t take time to enjoy the moment of the high (no matter how big or small) that we experience after having finished something.  We seem to always be in a hurry to get to the next thing because we don’t want to “waste any time.”  Then we wonder why we are burned out and tired all of the time.

God made us perfectly.  Our bodies function in a way so that we have the energy to complete the tasks at hand, however, we need to recharge so that we have just as much energy to move on to the next thing.  We are not as in tune to our bodies as we could be and we miss opportunities to enjoy the moment after the success.  

It is not enough to enjoy the success in the moment; we must take time to enjoy the high after the moment.  Relish a little… celebrate a little... relax a little… before you take the next step on your journey.  Give thanks for this success and this moment… THEN move on to the next one.  

The After Glow moment should be a reflection of the inner-glow that radiates from you as you reflect the light God has put inside of you.  The light always shines brighter we accomplish something that he put inside of us to do!

Shoot for the Moon

While we think these abundant thoughts and imagine abundant realities, by default, our visions, goals and dreams should be stellar. The future reality we are creating for ourselves in our minds should be out of this world.  Every step we take that brings us closer to that star-studded reality should be packed with stardust because we are dreaming so big.

But what if…?  What if nothing!  So what if you misstep?  So what if a milestone is delayed?  So what if you get side-tracked by something unexpected?  What is important is that you stay focused on your goal.  Remember that God promises that ALL things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

What does this mean for you?  This means that you’re listening to God’s music in your life and as a result, you hear the call.  This means that you have learned how to respond quickly and you are ready to change directions so that you are always living in His purpose.  This means that even if you make a mistake (oh, no, not a mistake!), God will work it out for your good!!!  Yes, God can make lemonade out of lemons.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions, it does mean that God is still sovereign in your life, and there is no place that you can go where He will not be with you there.

Even if you miss the mark, climbing ½ of Mount Everest puts you in a completely different reality than walking up the hill in your neighborhood.  Think big… Aim high… Shoot for the Moon!

Abundant Imagination

I have always thought that one of the biggest lies – if not the biggest lie – is the one of the rules of economics – the law of scarcity.  Essentially, scarcity is the idea that there is not enough for everyone and everything that exists in this world.

I remember hearing this in elementary school and having a major problem with the theory.  I did not understand at the time, but how can I believe in and worship a God who created a world where there is not enough for all of His creation?  If I believe that He is a loving God who loves everything He created, then that version of love is a bit twisted.  What type of Creator does that?

I believe that the idea of scarcity is man-made, and if you believe it, then you will never have enough.  God is Jehovah-Jireh, which means that He is a Provider.  We must believe that there is abundance, and that is where God lives.  He lives in abundance.  If we live in Him, then we also live in abundance.  

He is a God who created the earth from nothing.  He is a God who spoke creation into existence.  If God can speak the earth into being, then I am POSITIVE that he can resolve any shortage in my life and in yours.  We must think abundant thoughts, and believe that God wants us to have all that we can imagine and even more.

What abundant thoughts have been on your mind?

Forgetting the past

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead," Philippians 3:13 (NKJV)

How will you ever move forward if you’re looking and living backwards?  

I really shouldn’t write anything else, because that is all that needs to be said.  We ask ourselves, why we are not living in the reality we say that we want.  Often times, the answer lies in the fact that we are still living as if our past were our present.  We have not let go of the reality that stopped being a reality one second ago.  Each minute is a new opportunity to do something different.  

More often than not, it is our thinking – our paradigm – our perspective – our outlook – something in our brains that causes us to stand still and not to press forward to what lies ahead.  Are you pressing forward to what lies ahead?

What is in your past that you haven’t let go of?  What person, job, disappointment, hurt, success, fear, regret or apprehension is stopping you from moving to the next place God has set before you.  It is time to conclude that chapter and to start a new one with new characters with new scenery.  It is time to move forward.  Forget your past because most likely, your past is not thinking about you!

Dancing to a New Song

The #1 rule of dancing is you MUST listen to the music.  If you want to stay in time, and move at a specific beat, bar or measure, you MUST listen to the music.  Whether you are dancing solo or with someone you HAVE TO listen to the music.  If you know the tune, then you know when to expect the sudden pause or change in tempo and your body will react accordingly.  If the song is new, then you have to rely solely on your ears to hear the change and then your body must respond immediately to interpret what that change means for your dance.

Change is inevitable in our lives. We know it is coming, but we don’t always know when.  Sometimes we can see the signs and we do our best to prepare.  Occasionally, we see the signs and ignore them – hoping that the change will not come.  Often, we are surprised by the sudden occurrences in our lives that can result in a major or minor shift in our lifestyle, thinking or behavior.  Always, we understand that what we are experiencing is change, and we have no choice but to respond.

The one thing we can control is deciding how we will respond to the changes in our lives.  We can’t respond if we don’t see what is going on.  We can’t see what is going on unless we are tuned in to the music.

We have the ability to be quick on our feet and pivot in a new direction when the beat in our lives changes.  What song is in your life playing right now?  Are you ready to dance to a New Song?